Welcome, iNLP Center students! Here are the NLP 6-step reframing exercise instructions per the psyche builder in your course.
The fundamental principle behind the six-step reframe is that of self-acceptance. Whether or not that’s obvious, it involves believing that there is a positive intention behind every behavior. There is that every part of you, metaphorically speaking, has a positive intention. Even the aspects of yourself that you dislike the most, have positive intentions behind them.
That’s really a powerful concept to get. Once you get it, you can take a look at the behaviors that you’re least happy with. You can take a look at the aspect of yourself that you’re least happy with and accept. I have a positive intention.
Once you get that, your self-esteem goes through the roof because you no longer criticize yourself. You no longer condemn yourself, you no longer complain. In fact, when you do behaviors that you don’t like, you can actually be curious about them. I wonder what positive intention is behind this behavior. Now, that’s not an excuse to be indulgent. It’s not an excuse to continue to do those behaviors if they’re harmful to you.
But it’s a doorway. It’s an opportunity to open up, use your creativity, and begin to accept yourself. Change from this perspective is a positive thing. It puts you in a completely different frame of mind and you’re more open to ideas. You’re more open to brainstorming, you’re more open to looking at other avenues that you might consider in order to create this the shift that you want to create. So here’s the psyche builder, which is to write down the three worst, most shameful, horrible behaviors that you do.
If any of these are illegal, I don’t want to know about them. Chances are they’re not. Write down the three most shameful, horrible, disgusting behaviors that you do. And what I would like you to do is get really clear about the positive intention behind each behavior.
And so if your behavior is overeating and you sit there and drink, drink a gallon of milk and two packages of Oreos in one sitting and you’re 50-60-70 pounds overweight and you just binge and binge and during that binge and you’re just so engrossed in it and you don’t care, but afterward you’re disgusted by yourself. You hate yourself. You’re ashamed of yourself. You can’t look yourself in the mirror.
That would be an appropriate behavior or problem to look at. With this exercise, there’s the behavior I binge – now, what’s the positive intention behind this behavior? This part of you that doesn’t care, this part of you that wants to binge, what’s it really want for you, and I’m not asking for a miracle here, I’m not asking you to solve this problem, but just open your mind for a moment to the fact that this part of you may have a positive intention if you don’t have anything that intense about yourself, that’s fine.
Pick aspects of yourself that you’re not happy with. Pick behaviors you do that are habitual. Maybe you yell at your kids. Maybe you get impatient with your neighbors. Maybe you’re irked by your boss. Whatever it is, however intense or not intense, the behavior is, write it down.
If it’s something you don’t like and you don’t feel like you appreciate, because this is a wonderful opportunity to move in the direction of self-acceptance, positive intention, and really installing this notion within your being. Everything I do has a positive intention, then that opens up completely new opportunities, puts you in a different frame of mind so that you can begin to solve some of these problems.
Now, if you’re a serial killer, if you’re a rapist, if you’re really somebody who has evil intentions, and by the way, I do believe that those people exist. I just don’t think any of them would take this program. However, if you, if you’re doing things that are illegal and harmful for other people or yourself just for the sake of being harmful, I still suggest that you do this. I don’t want to know about it and this program probably isn’t for you. There you go. There’s a psyche builder for the six-step reframe. I’d love to hear what you come up with.