Relationship coaching has a place in the world of life coaching. Here’s how a relationship coaching model might work.
FYI this is a rough sketch, done because I was looking for creative solutions to boredom🙂
A relationship coaching model can be built on a few key ideas. One is that the beliefs of each individual in the relationship affect their relationship.
When core beliefs are held in common, we might not notice their effect. We would just say it’s a great relationship. We’re compatible.
But when core beliefs are NOT in common…
When core beliefs are not in common, then we often fight over how we see things. We literally see things differently because our beliefs determine what we see.
A good relationship coaching model will point this out and offer ways to work with it. The primary driver of the relationship coaching model is that human beings process things we consider to be true or facts and beliefs using the same neural network.
That’s why we can defend erroneous beliefs to our death because to us, those are facts. We perceive beliefs as facts in a marital relationship or a romantic relationship of any kind.
Personally held beliefs – the way that each partner sees the world – have everything to do with how they communicate, how they behave, even whether or not they like each other; and certainly whether or not they get along.
So a relationship coaching model will honor this neural pathway
And introduce techniques and skills and an approach that invites each partner in the relationship to acknowledge that the way he or she is seeing things is based on a belief. The way they see the world, even common things that we all take for granted – even when we can call it a fact – it’s still processed through the same neural network that we use to believe things are true, even when those things are not facts.
Such a relationship coaching model would greatly facilitate understanding between people. We’ll simply teach each person to own the fact that their perceptions are not necessarily facts and prove to them that this is the case (which will be possible with willing participants only, right?)
Now imagine once we do that, what will happen to all those fights about who’s right and who’s wrong.